Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
