i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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