I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize