you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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