is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I wear drunk well.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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