she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
