am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
