If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
