I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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