What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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