This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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