wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
