But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
