She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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