chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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