glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dick very happy bro