New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.