Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Got yourself a keeper right there.

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  (905): She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use. (416): Got yourself a keeper right there. http://tfl.nu/t8iu
  Replies (26) Good night (4904) Bad night (795)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Did it?

  (806): View more from Texas

  Not as such, no.

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  (806): I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes. (512): Did it? (806): Not as such, no. http://tfl.nu/c480
  Replies (37) Good night (549) Bad night (4522)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?

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  (210): eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life? http://tfl.nu/6stl
  Replies (51) Good night (4463) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick

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  (785): whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick http://tfl.nu/3xlh
  Replies (64) Good night (7523) Bad night (1660)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  good thing vaginas are great cup holders

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  (717): good thing vaginas are great cup holders http://tfl.nu/j578
  Replies (47) Good night (1062) Bad night (4206)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons

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  (301): Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons http://tfl.nu/ha6n
  Replies (28) Good night (1109) Bad night (4078)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.

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  (859): Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine. http://tfl.nu/7uwl
  Replies (15) Good night (4900) Bad night (1386)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week

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  (603): there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week http://tfl.nu/fflq
  Replies (5) Good night (3105) Bad night (829)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!

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  (203): Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling! http://tfl.nu/pnvd
  Replies (0) Good night (1669) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?

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  (402): I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do? http://tfl.nu/fl2n
  Replies (5) Good night (766) Bad night (1036)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.

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  (276): You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat. http://tfl.nu/s2nm
  Replies (6) Good night (2232) Bad night (690)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it

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  (404): Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it http://tfl.nu/ez1e
  Replies (41) Good night (1575) Bad night (1931)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.

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  (803): My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please. http://tfl.nu/htsn
  Replies (5) Good night (1012) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful

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  (970): The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful http://tfl.nu/mqfz
  Replies (7) Good night (690) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless

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  (860): The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless http://tfl.nu/aa5s
  Replies (9) Good night (2398) Bad night (346)

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