Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  No one shows this much boob at breakfast

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  (404): It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast. (1-404): No one shows this much boob at breakfast http://tfl.nu/tvt6
  Replies (7) Good night (3880) Bad night (746)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now

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  (416): She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now http://tfl.nu/59pg
  Replies (64) Good night (1223) Bad night (6856)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah

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  (401): if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah http://tfl.nu/0yif
  Replies (16) Good night (3977) Bad night (755)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.

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  (248): thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer. http://tfl.nu/nnju
  Replies (59) Good night (1405) Bad night (6533)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.

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  (603): Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/y50b
  Replies (16) Good night (2385) Bad night (2463)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.

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  (810): Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of. http://tfl.nu/uwfl
  Replies (14) Good night (4030) Bad night (785)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD

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  (740): I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD http://tfl.nu/hcwh
  Replies (24) Good night (839) Bad night (5260)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....

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  (832): Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all.... http://tfl.nu/501n
  Replies (3) Good night (2095) Bad night (958)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness

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  (505): I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness http://tfl.nu/jgsm
  Replies (8) Good night (2617) Bad night (983)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?

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  (920): did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve? http://tfl.nu/wzep
  Replies (3) Good night (1125) Bad night (2894)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday

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  (920): Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday http://tfl.nu/tp2d
  Replies (6) Good night (2999) Bad night (831)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl

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  (314): He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl (201): I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl http://tfl.nu/d4hf
  Replies (4) Good night (1354) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce

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  (404): I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce http://tfl.nu/fuvv
  Replies (8) Good night (1301) Bad night (477)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties

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  (816): I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties http://tfl.nu/x6rh
  Replies (0) Good night (783) Bad night (278)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk

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  (931): I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk http://tfl.nu/3881
  Replies (1) Good night (543) Bad night (197)

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