Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks