Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl

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(313): I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl http://tfl.nu/zim9

Replies (2) Good night (714) Bad night (1164)
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(925): View more from California

Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.

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(925): Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor. http://tfl.nu/43q5

Replies (24) Good night (5266) Bad night (1532)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too

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(610): on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too http://tfl.nu/acnp

Replies (6) Good night (594) Bad night (3986)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.

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(704): It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States. http://tfl.nu/t1qp

Replies (16) Good night (6466) Bad night (953)
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(818): View more from California

Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.

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(818): Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents. http://tfl.nu/ynsx

Replies (14) Good night (895) Bad night (5147)
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(416): View more from Toronto

sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.

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(416): sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you. http://tfl.nu/2uqq

Replies (16) Good night (3886) Bad night (2435)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink

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(778): Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink http://tfl.nu/5oo7

Replies (17) Good night (3440) Bad night (1015)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs

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(541): Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs http://tfl.nu/iwcs

Replies (7) Good night (2368) Bad night (1141)
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(480): View more from Arizona

This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.

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(480): This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love. http://tfl.nu/h8jg

Replies (9) Good night (1339) Bad night (1698)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"

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(763): We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!" http://tfl.nu/13ym

Replies (6) Good night (949) Bad night (486)
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(858): View more from California

I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though

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(858): I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though http://tfl.nu/pek1

Replies (2) Good night (1445) Bad night (467)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.

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(303): I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes. http://tfl.nu/8g0z

Replies (6) Good night (815) Bad night (774)
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(+33): View more from France

If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.

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(+33): If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome. http://tfl.nu/f909

Replies (6) Good night (2145) Bad night (368)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."

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(617): Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now." http://tfl.nu/y913

Replies (7) Good night (1052) Bad night (307)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here

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(618): Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here http://tfl.nu/y9wz

Replies (6) Good night (447) Bad night (241)

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