My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize