i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
