I think scott just propositioned me for sex
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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