I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
