scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
