I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
