Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
