I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize