bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He? As in you personified your dick?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
