Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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