remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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