If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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