I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
