He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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