I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
