Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
