im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
