I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
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sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
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I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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