If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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