Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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