remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
