is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
