Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize