he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
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