Are we in a gay sports bar?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
