In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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