Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
