Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i think i have two assholes
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
