Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
