It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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