Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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