god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
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