we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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