Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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