you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She announced her abortion via fbk
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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