if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
