Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
