the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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