I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize