Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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